Heart/Land

"Wo gehen wir denn hin? Immer nach Hause."

And then I was back. Back in the place I left almost five years ago. Back in the place that played such a decisive role in forming my personality. Back in the place that harbors so many memories. Back in Nebraska. Sitting on the bus that was to take me from Chicago to Nebraska was an interesting experience. Not knowing what I was expecting and what was expecting me, I kept thinking about how it would feel like to come back. I kept thinking about all the memories that will forever connect me with this place and about the effect that my stay there had had on me. After anxiously waiting and thinking for hours I finally crossed the border and Nebraska lay in front of me, greeting me with all its beauty. And then, as my destination came closer and closer, I felt...nothing. While familiar streets and buildings passed my eyes, I felt like someone had drained me of all emotions. It was such a strange experience. I had expected it to feel weird or strange, but there was no strangeness or weirdness attached to coming back. It was not weird to be back and it did not even excite me to a great extend, probably because I knew exactly where I was heading. I was moving towards the familiar, and the only thing that excited me was seeing my American family again. I was about to find out what had changed. 

Talking to my old host family again, seeing the house and the neighborhood and just spending a couple of days in Nebraska made me realize why it was not weird to come back. It was not weird, because it was still home. My home, far away form home. A place where I would always be welcomed with open arms and a place that shares so many memories and experiences with me. It was like meeting an old friend, after not seeing each other for a long time, only to realize that the most important, fundamental things have not changed. Usually I am all for change, consistency tends to bore me and I like movement, growth and new experiences. However, with all the change constantly occurring around me, I find great comfort in safe places. Places that will always be there, places that do not change and places where you can let your guard down, where you can relax and breathe. Places that will accept you for who you are, not only accept you, but love you. I am very grateful for all the traveling that I get to do and I love to go out and explore this world, to meet people and to experience all I can, but I think I will always need these safe places, or more correctly, I feel like I could not do all the things I am doing if I did not know that these safe places exist. Without family and home this would not be possible, and I just realized that I have two families and homes. I am a lucky man.

Staying in Nebraska allowed me to relax and fully realize what I am doing and what it means that I am doing this. It also taught me that I should be very thankful that I have the opportunity to do all these amazing things. After coming to Minnesota, being forced to travel out of homelessness, it was nice to experience the comfort of home for a week. That does not mean that I did not enjoy my professional hobo lifestyle, surfing the couches of Minneapolis and Chicago, but it was nice to not switch houses every two or three days. I enjoyed the comfort of family lifestyle, eating dinners together, walking the dogs, watching TV and playing games. Also, this was probably the first time that I attended church on a Sunday since I don't know when, and I got to meet so many people that still remembered me from five years ago. It was a time of great conversations and good old and new memories, a very comforting and relaxing experience. I felt very loved and finally had the chance to clear my head and focus on what I am doing here. 

As nice as it was, it was time to move on and so I jumped on the next night bus to take me back to Chicago, from where I would catch my connecting bus to Minneapolis. I don't think I have ever spend 19 hours on any form of transportation before, but now that is something new that I can add to the things I have done. It was a very long trip, but now I am back in Minneapolis, couchsurfing for another week before I can finally move into my new room. It is about time, I can't wait to really live here and for classes to start. Each new day is very exciting and I am ready to embrace all the greatness that is to come. I am ready. 

An Island in the Sea.

"Come and show me another city with lifted head singing
  so proud to be alive and coarse and strong and cunning"

Chicago. The vibrant metropolis. The pulsating heart of the Midwest. The place where dreams are born.

After a never ending drive through what now can only be described as the endless wasteland of Wisconsin and Illinois, she slowly rises on the horizon. Her towers growing to touch the sky, her lights illuminating the darkness, and her unique music making sweet promises of excitement and adventure. You swear that you can almost touch the energy that lies in the air and takes a hold of you when you walk down her streets. I find it almost impossible to describe the surreal effect that seeing Chicago for the first time had on me, but just try to imagine driving down an infinite highway embedded with cornfields and flat countryside and then, all of a sudden, without warning, out of the void grows the gigantic city that is Chicago. An island in the sea. It will blow your mind.

I have always enjoyed exploring a city at night. Somehow I feel that everything looks more mysterious, more promising at night, like the city is revealing her true self, after being stripped naked from the buzzing activity of the day. So while I was walking towards the bus that was to lead me to my couch in the south side, I just could not help it to stop and gaze with amazement at the buildings and the long canyons that are cut by streets in between the skyscrapers. I was just so stoked and excited to be in this amazing place, that I felt like nothing else mattered as long as I could just be there, be in the moment. Luckily this was only the beginning of my stay.

Go Do Good

That night I was just really grateful that once again someone was willing to open their home to me, to offer me a place to stay and to share their food with me. It truly amazes me how many great people you meet when traveling and how much kindness you encounter everywhere. I really hope that I will have the opportunity to give back all the good experiences and memories I have made when traveling and couchsurfing. I believe that couchsurfing makes this world a better place by bringing people together, sharing whatever they have to offer. And we all have something to offer.

After a good nights sleep and some food in my stomach I was prepared to go out and explore Chicago. Due to a lack of time and the opportunity to see it all, I decided to just walk down the streets in order to get an idea of what this place felt like. Believe me or not, but if you wander aimlessly and let your feet decide where to take you, you learn a lot more about a place compared to heading towards one tourist attraction after another. So I ended up going to the beach, seeing some beautiful parks, looking at a lot of interesting architecture and strolling through some quiet neighborhoods. Chicago is a really diverse city and all the areas I explored had a distinct feel to them. There is the loop with its tall buildings, its buzzing streets and its endless stream of people rushing towards an unknown destination. When heading north you pass some beautiful residential buildings that interestingly enough host a mixture of old hippies, young families and a lot of yuppies. All of this is surrounded by cafes, bars and restaurants that lead you to lincoln park, a gigantic strip of greenery right next to Lake Michigan. Here you can spend the day enjoying the sun on the beach, listening to live music, and eating hotdogs while looking at the skyline of downtown. A perfect and magical place to end my day in Chicago.

Now after two amazing days in Chicago I am riding the bus once more, going west, going to Nebraska. I don't even know what exactly I feel now that I am going back to the place where I spend the 6 months of my young life that had such a profound impact in shaping the person I am today. I guess I am just excited to see it again, to meet my old host family, to catch up and to just relax for a couple of days. So now I'm riding down the street, into the sun, towards my past., excited to see what I discover there.

City of Lakes.

"Wir sollen heiter Raum um Raum durchschreiten,
An keinem wie an einer Heimat hängen,
Der Weltgeist will nicht fesseln uns und engen,
Er will uns Stuf' um Stufe heben"

Well, first allow me to introduce myself, even though I doubt that anyone who is not acquainted with me will ever read this. But after all you never know. So here is what you should know about me. Born and raised in Germany, my heart still resides in the North, in Hamburg, at the water, by the coast, with family. However, after 19 years I decided that it was time for a change, time to move on, time to set foot on a new path, time to take my own steps towards an exciting future. I moved to Berlin, which I have called home for the past few years. Berlin was the first city that I conquered all by myself, who's secrets I slowly had to uncover, who's magic put me under its spell.

The experiences I have had in Berlin truly made me grow as a person. They shaped me, set me on a path towards myself and taught me a lot of valuable lessons about life. It was not always easy, sometimes it was rather dark, cold, lonely and difficult, but I realized that this is part of life, that these times are the ones that make us grow, teach us all the important lessons; and most importantly, that these are the times that make all the happiness, all the joy, warmth, love and pleasant memories that are also part of life, all the more enjoyable. Without darkness there is no light. At times we have to step out of our comfort zone, grow and do something extraordinary in order to get to the place where all the magic happens.

The next step

Now here I stand, ready to continue on yet another journey, to challenge the unknown, and to travel along a new path. Today is the day I am moving to Minneapolis, and so many thoughts and feelings rush through body and brain at the very moment I am writing this, that it is difficult to process it all, but right now all can be summed up into excitement and wonder. I am excited to see what lies ahead of me on this path that is only slowly starting to reveal itself to me. I wonder, dream about and picture all the wonderful things that lie ahead, about the person I will be at the end of this journey and about all the things that I will see, experience and feel. But if I can say one thing right now, it is that I am ready for it, that I embrace the future with open arms and that I will try to feel, experience and see as much as possible, that I will be grateful for all that life has to offer and that I will always aim at taking the next step.

Looking back at this point I have to say that I am thankful for all the great and amazing people who's ways I have crossed, who were part of my life. So cheers to family, friends and love. They are the ones that give meaning to life, that teach you valuable lessons and that inspire you to go on once you have lost track. I guess I am blessed that I have already had so many amazing people in my life, and I hope from the bottom of my heart that many of them will cross my path again and again. Nevertheless, I am also excited for all the people that I have yet to meet in the future. Life is so exciting all the time, we just have to know where to look to see its wonders.

I have to admit that leaving was not easy. Sometimes what you have to do is not what you want to do. And sometimes beginning a new journey is the scariest thing in the world. I was never scared to go somewhere, to leave something behind, but this time it was different. This is actually the first time where I am going somewhere ALL alone. No family close by, no clue about how life in the new city will be like, no idea where I am going to live (yes, as until further notice I am homeless); really, no idea about anything. So I truly challenge the unknown right here, right now. I found it hard to get excited about this new experience, to look forward to it and to embrace it. But now that I am finally gone, all these important feelings that I have been missing are here, and in all honesty: I am super excited and it all feels like the great adventure it is, and after all, something that is hard to let go of is always worth returning to. Does not just count for home. Now I will be couchsurfing and tomorrow I will start to find a roof above my head (feeling homeless is not really what I was looking for).

And so I continue, step for step on my own personal journey towards the future, and I invite you to accompany me on this trip, so feel free to comment, share or just read about what is going on in my life, about all the things I feel and about the thoughts that run through my head (and there are many).

P.S: A random fact to finish this, because really random facts are awesome. In Iceland you can go to jail for 5 years if you smoke while peeing on an airplane toilet. They don't joke around with their customers, also they don't give them food...